pensive.

I wish you were here. But you're not, you're there. And there doesn't know how lucky it is.

Just a short update, today, so as not to completely overwhelm myself. I find myself so blessed, and I do not regret coming home in the slightest. I needed to come home and be with family. God blesses me so very much, with strength when I feel completely without, with hope when I feel entirely downtrodden, with a smile when it seems impossible to smile. He gives me so much.
I wish I could change how much I affect the people around me; that would be the one thing I change about this situation. I can get through the pain, it is but a physical ailment that I need to endure. I am supposed to learn from it. The helplessness I see in the eyes around me, in those watching me go through this, hurts more than my back does. My mom cried yesterday, without comfort, because I was in pain. I try to be strong, but it doesn't help.
I keep praying for the best, as I suppose I must.
We hopefully will be able to get in to the chiropractor tomorrow morning, for my second appointment. We're not sure yet, but I'm praying for it. If it happens any other day this week, I will have to go myself: driving two and a half hours up and back. Fingers crossed, heart praying. Here goes nothing.